Living It Up ..

Never could I run away .. never could I embrace

Was I too naive or was I just too scared?

I took each step with ease,

But,in the end I let it be,

Kicked it off strong and nice,

lost my nerves when the end arrived,

Wondered on what I was holding on,

Would it give away or will I get a new life?
I ran I ran,I ran too hard,
not looking behind or who I passed,
It was a road that was leading on,
It was the path I was looking for,
Life aint about destiny,
Its about what we make out of it,
If you're not happy,
Then pretend and you will see,
That on the seventh day you will be,
No more thoughts,no more wandering,
living it straight,no crap talking.

Mirror Of Emotions,Ripples Of Water

the moves of the water,just like our life..

I was sitting on a rock,
away high above,
looked down and my breath caught,
when I looked at the water,
it looked so still,
almost surreal,
like a mirage in my eyes,
almost my imagination,
I took a stone,
I threw it far,
it plopped on the water,
it later drowned,
I smiled at a thought,
the ripples smiles with me,
like the water reflected my heart,
like they read my mind,
I threw another stone,
doing away the pain,
I had the silent tears,
the ripples imitate,
I sat for hours,
how long,I couldn’t tell,
long in a puzzle,
life had set in,
trying hard to conclude,
the frown on my forehead,
I plopped another stone,
the ripples imitated my mood,
I then laughed at myself,
how complicated I was,
naïve like a kid,
yet,a grown up at heart,
a memory with friends,
sent me into peals of laughters,
I threw a stone in all happiness,
the ripples were my alies,
they laughed with me,
seemed like my best friends,
accepted me how I was,
never questioned,
never complained.
they moved like the music I played,
paced fast with the beats,
or hung on slow,
when it was a lullaby,
the winds played with them,
seduced the ripples as they went,
tortured them like a lover,
played like best friends,
I watched amused,
I wondered and smiled,
the water was my mirror,
the mirror to my heart and mind,
I felt my emotions,
it portrayed it live,
swayed with the intensity,
it gave them the life,
it created a lil life of its own,
with the happiness and sadness,
which came and went,
the people who become a part of it,
the people who come and go..
I sat there watching,
long after the sun had set,
the waters had again become still,
I then realized,my thoughts were also at rest .

I wait ...

The  winds  sweep in through my window,
I see that beautiful smile,
It rummages through my hair,
it makes go all crazy and wild.
I dance like I have never before,
I see the moonglight,
lighting up my world,
I know for once it was all true.
I look out and see nothing,
I look around and see everything,
I hear  the music play and it sways me,
I trip on the lights and they make me crave,
A solitude I had let go off,
an inhibition I had turned off,
I thought it could be different,
I believe this what I was looking for.
The green in the light,
The people who mean to me,
couldn’t  satisfy a need,
I needed something way beyond.
I knew I was loved,
I knew I was special,
I somehow had forgotten it for a while,
But,then you had come along.
Those glassy brown eyes,
That caring look behind the look,
You loved being hated,
But,I loved you all along.
Seemed so mystical,
A story I wanted to know,
I walked and walked and searched,
All I saw was a dead end.
You,I made my life,
you,I lived for,
to see you smile,
To show whats life.
I know I loved those words,
those silences which I never knew of,
I looked back and saw you,
but,long before you were gone.
Stay there,hold on,
am there waiting,
To tell you whats love,
to tell whats life.
hold on tight,believe in me,
stay right there.dont go away,
the winds just blew in,
I’ll make them my poetry.
just for you,your smile,
just like a lil child’s,
I miss it,I want to see,
that you are mine now and forever.

Fresh ..

I stood across the field,
I looked beyond what eyes could see,
I felt the cold breeze,
sweep my heart away from me.
I closed my eyelids,
I smiled like a child,
I thought about the times,
I rejoiced in my mind.
I shivered from head,
It moved down to my spine,
I hugged myself close,
The winds felt divine.
I felt so alive,
like a fresh blossomed rose,
I felt so loved,
Like I rested in my lover's arms.
I knew life is good,
Its all worthwhile,
small moments of happiness,
Long days if life.
I smile cuz I know,
I love cuz I feel,
I laugh cuz I hate to cry,
I live cuz thats how its supposed to be

Unexpected but,am loving it :-)

cuz friendship is beautiful .. :-)

Sometimes life plays funny,
unexpected how you meet some people,
so totally random at even more random places,
you start talking and voila!
they are your great friends,
you talk and talk,
you text and text,
you meet and laugh,
share your part of life with them,
one day you meet another person,
all of you sit for dirnks,
sht happens and everyone forgets,
but there is a bond where is already there,
the talks then become intense,
starts from how it was,
it then coems to how it is,
the problems faced,
the people you have met,
some good memories,
some creepy nightmares,
you share the laughs of good times,
you cry tears of the bad,
you speak like there is no past,
you speak like they are the hope,
you speak of love and fantasy,
you talk cute and crazy,
you meet each and everyday,
you share a precious moment each day,
you do a character rip out,
you trip on each other's words,
most of the times the silence speaks,
for the rest,the words do it all,
yes,we make the bucket list,
to go back in time and live,
be a joyful kid again,
live the life that we forgot.
tradegies and heartbreaks,
been through it all,
you smile and you know it,
its going to be fine after all,
we have playful fights,
kicking and punching,
all the crazy times,
all the stupid talking.
stalking and spying,
complimenting and modesty,
red lipsticks and OMGoshing!
taunting for the fun of it all,
A hand you know that will hold on,
a shoulder you know you can cry on,
its all so mutual,
its like looking at the mirror on the wall,
there was the love triangle,
there was an understading,
there was admiration,
there was never ending smiling,
a few beautiful moments,
many many eventful hours,
many memories in a short while,
I hope to have it all along.
Friends,so close to my heart,
like i have known you forever,
I look at you and i feel,
this has been there all along.
It will go on I know,
Nothing can defy it,
not even the worst storm,
not even as the darkness falls.
its plain sunshine,
its friendship and trust,
its respect and support,
that had been missing since long.
I thank,I pray for all that I have,
I believe and it will be,
A part of my life till the end .

P.S- the people whom its about will know it :-)
*hug*

Ma :)

You are my everything.

Mothers!epitome of beauty,devotion,hardwork,love,care and endless sacrifices.My mom is all of that and more. I love her but,I try not to show it too much.Why?because she starts giving me too many kissies all over my face! :-| She wont leave me only after that!
So,I have spent many years in conflict with her,always thinking that she never understood me or wouldn't let me dow hat I wanted to but,i eventually realised that she was too scared too lose me to the world.I used to be very rebellious and would oppose everything she said. I hardly paid any heed to her words,"bhashan" as I would call it. I fell hard,way too hard and then realised what all she had once told me.It all came rushing back into my head and I loved her more than my life ever since.
To me,Ma is like an angel with those deep brown almond eyes beautifully outlined with kajal and a smile as powerful as the sunlight. She is my guiding light in the dark.My support when am handicap.Love that am never deprived of. A strength that always keep me going.A hand which always blesses me. A lady of self confidence,intelligence and radiant beauty. She is like the summer breeze who when enters a home brings in so much freshness with her.
Back at home in Delhi,I remember,she would wake me up with a kiss on both cheeks and her hand over my head murmuring words of prayer and blessings.I used to be usually awake by then but,I used to pretend to be asleep and smile mildly so she wouldn't know.She smelled of my favourite cranberry body wash and johnson baby talc and her hands as soft as a cotton ball.She would pester me to eat,to eat well and be concerned always about what I wore.The reason I threw tantrums were only because I knew she would pamper me and make me eat with her own hands,pick my clothes for me and smile at me lovingly.
Memories from my childhood which make my day even now are the ones where she would plait my long tresses every morning and send me to school. If ever I was upset,she would call me fondly and feed me my favourite paranthas laiden with dallops of butter.*sigh*
Now am pune and am 18,living alone in the hostel with no mommy to look after.. no one to make sure my laundry is done,that I have eaten on time or simply that everything is perfect. Her perfect is almost annoying but,it doesnt cease to surprise me all the time.I miss hugging her and going off to sleep in her lap,getting my hair oiled by her and being nagged about the smalled of things.
People say,I have her eyes.It makes me feel so beautiful and proud.My Ma has given me my gift of writing and music.She inspires me everyday to live my dreams and not stop until you have reached the very point you wanted to.To think big,Do big and  Be big.She never says it but,I know she misses me every single moment.From the time she leaves home to go to school till the time she sleeps at night. Talking about night,I remember how she would call me on my phone while am sitting in my room just to go to her room and switch off the lights because she is already tucked! hehe ..cutie my ma is.
She sleeps like a lil baby with her lips slightly apart and a faint smile on her face.She glows even when she sleeps!She sings to herself when she cooks and my! my! what a joy it is to watch her sway in sync with the swivle of the serving spoon.
I love my ma too much.am sure you guys do too but,am just a lil too overcome with emotions today so I love my ma more! :-D If ever I can become half as awesome a person as her,I'd feel like I have achieved almost everything in life.
Ma,you are my reason to life,my reason to stay here even though I want to quit,a reason to stand strong and win the battle,my blind faith in this demented place,part of my soul which makes me strive to be a better person each day and Smile because I have seen you do it through the trying times and come out wise and happy.
I love you Ma! Thank You for being the best mother in the world! *tight hugg* *lots of kissies*
I Miss You.
I promise I will make you Proud :-)

The Dark Moment

That one moment when,
you feel you are sinking in,
deep in the depths of yourself,
when evrything around seems pointless,
the reasons to life cease to exist,
when every person walking by,
seems to be gorging in,
when the surroundings seem to be closing in.
when the heart takes too much effort to beat,
when your lungs feel tight as you breathe,
when everyone seems to be against you,
when the time seems to be running away from you.
Smiles seem to tuff to bring,
the hands are left cold and pale,
feels like you are searchign a way out,
from a deepset dark tunnel,
into the brightness of the world.
when you want to cry,
but,even the tears are reluctant,
when you want to speak,
you find no words to convey,
when all the lovely memories,
flood back in from the past,
when all the joyous moments,
cut like a knife through the heart,
but,nothing helps fill the void.
when you say,'let go',
when all you want is peace,
all you want is a reason to smile,
a reason to be free.
it springs up from the grave,
setting the emotions away,
A look of deparation,
A silent sweet prayer,
Someone uncover the blanket of darkness,
to lead me unto the path I seek,
to rise again from the place of the dead,
To live a life and to be me.